All good things come in threes! Prepare yourself for this review is full of culture, culture everywhere, everywhere! Accordingly we will provide you with some witty criticism, as sophisticated as your last week’s assignment. We hope that you, fair reader, are going to enjoy reading this piece of art, because, believe it or not, MARVEL movies have entered the sphere of pop-culture and we cannot help but have an opinion on that.

But before you continue reading, a word of caution. This time, our movie-squad is providing you with a two-part review. Because nowadays all nifty things are split into two, we thought we might try doing the same. Just so you know, the beginning of this review is as spoiler free as a social-media abstinent person, whereas the second part will ruin the movie for you. Even if you have already watched it.

In this sense: Readers. Assemble! It is time to face the end of an era. As half of all living things say at the end of “Infinity War”: Let’s get ready to crumble!

Part One – To Be or Not To Be Spoiler-Free, that is the question.

First of all: Did you like Endgame? (If you haven’t seen the first part…you had a year to catch up)

LitCrit1701: I liked it. It felt like a good conclusion of 11(?) years of Marvel-mania. I wasn’t a massive fan of Infinity War but Endgame tied up these loose ends quite nicely, I’d say.

no_name: No, I didn’t like Infinity War. Remember when the last part of Twilight had this massive dream-sequence plot twist? That was a surprise well served whereas Infinity War was only leading up to the second movie. After killing off Loki in less than ten minutes, it seemed quite possible to me that most of the events in Infinity War were going to be erased and re-done.

As you watched the story progress, what were you thinking?

no_name: Why is the popcorn always half empty after the ads?

LitCrit1701: I’m so glad I only had one cup of coffee this morning. But also – wow, time really flies when a story hooks you!

Which MARVEL character would be the worst roommate? Why?

Hamiltrash: I will say that for personal reasons, being I just don’t like him, Peter Quill aka Star Prince, sorry, Star Lord, would be my personal roommate hell. Apart from his taste in music, I see no redeeming qualities for his general personality, which would lead to me hiring an assassin to end him.

But practicality-wise, Hulk seems to be a difficult roommate, especially in small apartments. No offense, but… less is more in this case.

How did the movie make you feel?

LitCrit1701: I got quite emotional a couple of times. It is the end of an era after all. Also, for obvious reasons, I was afraid of whose deaths I would witness. Side note: I watched Endgame a couple of days before Game of Thrones’s big battle episode – and, oh boy, it’s been a week.

no_name: Endgame is about three hours long. You will have to do some tactical bladder-planning, just saying.

Do you think Endgame is a “good” ending for 21 MARVEL movies?

LitCrit1701: We all knew how the actual fight would end (considering Spiderman will soon travel to Europe – take the hint) but not the specifics, so it was interesting to see how exactly they’d bring all these different stories together. And I believe they succeeded. The Russo brothers had to face a mammoth-task: do justice for the characters, Stan Lee, and, above all, the fans. And they managed to make three hours feel like a snap.

So, dear reader, please switch off your electronic devices and fasten your seatbelt: If you have not seen the new MARVEL movie, do leave this page now. Scroll through some other great *tba-stuff, like…the other two *tba movie-squad reviews (Editor’s note: As you may have noticed: We are not even close to being biased.)

If you have watched Avenger’s Endgame, feel free to enjoy Part Two of our review. If you, however, are tempted to continue reading even though you have not seen Endgame yet: Patience you must have my young Padawan! Remember: Spoilers are the path to the dark side. Spoilers lead to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

Part Two: “Beware; for I am full of Spoilers and Therefore Powerful”

If you could run into a movie theatre and shout out a major spoiler, how tempted are you to do it with this one?

Hamiltrash: Considering the three existential crises I had while watching Endgame, I am committed to letting everyone personally experience the ride it is. Also, for everyone who wanted to stay in denial for as long as possible despite the almost absolute certainty as to who was gonna die and why, I would not want to take that tiny sliver of hope away from anyone who might desperately need it. What I am very tempted to do is bombard people with completely random out-of-context quotes like “That is America’s ass” or “I love you 3000” (I’m not crying, you’re crying).

What escalated very quickly?

Hamiltrash: The whole movie, kind of. You go to see Endgame with some sort of vague idea what’s gonna happen and suddenly Thanos is dead, Hawkeye is on an Anime murder spree, Thor is a gamer, Professor Hulk is an A-list celebrity and people have been dead for 5 years? All this in the first half hour?

LitCrit1701: I didn’t expect the trailer to be basically the first ten minutes of the movie! So after that a completely different story enfolded itself! But the ending didn’t change the game, or is it the other way around?

To what extent did the movie fit your expectations, or did it subvert or surpass them?

Hamiltrash: Seeing as Endgame was, as the name suggests, the conclusion of 21(!) movies over the span of 11(!) years, everyone had some kind of theory or inkling as to how all things would be resolved, and since the movies are based on comics, dedicated fans had a strong basis for speculation, the results of which they shared passionately. So, when it comes to the technicalities of bringing people back from the dead (the dust if you will), there really were no major surprises. What did catch me off-guard was Natasha’s sacrifice, just because I have not considered somebody having to die for the Soul stone, which, in hindsight, might have been a coping mechanism. All things considered, the plot was pretty much as expected. When it comes to my feelings during this movie, I was shocked as to how much I liked the tone and atmosphere of it. I did not expect to be as emotionally invested in most characters’ well-being, but the realization that this movie marks the end of an era in the MCU really hit me hard.

LitCrit1701: It definitely fit my expectations. It’s a superhero-movie, y’all! There’s a generic formula and they followed suit but with some nice, and also unexpected, twists at times. I didn’t expect Robert Downey Jr. to crush it though. He was the star of the whole company so I’m more interested to see how they’re going to cope with the loss of their powerhouse. Also not complaining about a certain someone having reached her story arch. What was up with these haircuts though?

Where’s Loki?

no_name: Alive and well. Probably somewhere to get ready for his own series.

When it comes to Endgame, what did people hope for but is never happening?

Hamiltrash: It really depends on who you ask. There are the Loki fans, bitterly disappointed that his cruel and violent death in Infinity War and his uncharacteristic behaviour leading up to it was not explained in Endgame. There are some (like me, I’m some), who are unsatisfied with Captain Marvel’s/Carol Danvers’ portrayal in Endgame which was underwhelming after the introduction to her character in the Captain Marvel movie. Personally, I am willing to forgive that fault because of the shooting order of the movies and the fact that Carol Danvers’ MCU backstory and the script for Captain Marvel were non-existent at the time of shooting Endgame. However, I would like to point out what we finally did get in Endgame: The Avengers being a family, united against an enemy, who support and love each other, instead of fighting or bantering with each other for most of the other movies. To, at the very end, have this sense of friendship amongst all of them is something I believe most people hoped for and finally got.

Did we get the lady-squad we deserve?

LitCrit1701: No. As a die-hard, and I think I’m literally dying for this, feminist the movie lacked consistent female empowerment and powerhouses. With the focus on Iron Man and Captain America, generally speaking, male superheroes’ issues, Natasha’s story arch and the run in the final battle scene felt like short intermediate moments to the actual events that could have done with more scenes with female characters. Captain Marvel is portrayed as too strong: with her on the battlefield, who needs a Star Lord? But why introduce her for a short moment in the entire movie? I think this is something that bugged me a lot. The battle scene still showed something important though: that the entire MCU nevertheless depends on their superheroines to win a fight.

Hamiltrash: After all these years of dreams, hopes and fanfiction, I can proudly say: Yes, but actually no. At one point a girl group moment definitely happened as they collectively adopted my son, Peter Parker (we’ve figured out the custody situation already), but it left everybody wanting so much more. However, after years of having heroines be only token characters that fight alone, possibly against other women, this hint of a power girl squad was long overdue and very welcome. Also, after the success of Captain Marvel, I imagine there will be more female superheroes on the big screen soon.

Dear reader, you have reached the end of this review since all good things must come to an end. Just as The Avengers (Editor’s note: You are entitled to your own opinion whether the movie was good or not). We very much hope that we could spark some joy in you while reading this. If not, you are probably still suffering from the fourth episode of Game of Thrones and you have our sympathy.

Yours sincerely and emphatically,

the *tba movie-squad