Splinter

I

Curves everywhere

The streets leading us

Past sublime images

Emptying this mess

That is your inner turmoil

 

Your life only another curve

In the world’s destiny

A majestic sinus-graph

 

You’ll realise life’s

A math equation:

Pointers define an up and down movement

Though not predictable

In reality for the future

In hindsight

There emerges a pattern

Of naïve decisions

 

A curve

In the woman’s bathing suit

She’s careless

And we should all care less

About delineating from

The linear path in life

And choose the deviating curvy road

 

The curvy hills

Leave me feeling small

And speechless

Disillusioned by the glory of nature

Mammoth issues turn into tiny spots

On earth’s daily spin around itself

 

We pass the curves on earth’s surface

And all I can see

Is the light at the end of the tunnels

We drive though

Every couple of hours

Sometimes even ending up in a new country

By the mere act of driving through a mountain

As if it holds the door to another world

 

II

I told myself once

that I’d never come back

no feelings of regret

attached to this deserted place

of tainted trust

and broken bonds

 

Now I’m back here

Among those whose blood I share

I used to hit a wall of fear

Surrounding all those who don’t care

About conventions

and expectations

Stared at with a perplexed gaze

How one could breach their sacred

Laws of life

 

Now I’m here

And it feels as if I was denying

To be part of this bloodline

All my life

 

III

All I see is blue:

Blue sea,

Blue skies,

Blue mountains

Blue eyes

 

At night everything

Melts into one palette of blue

 

Interrupted by single dots

Of orange lights

Reflections of life

On the other side

Of the sea

Growing with every hour

That passes

 

Feeling blue

After a dip into

The clear water

That leaves my skin longing

For more

I want to become part of this palette of blue too

And looking at the other side

At night

It looks

As if stars

Were flying

Over the homes to give light

 

IV

Too many voices fill the room

Too much air consumed

Nothing left for myself

Suffocating from the

Intimacy they force

Me to comply to

But I can’t

 

I can’t give more

They take it all

And return my all

With too much

Want for more

 

Haven’t seen their faces

Haven’t heard their voices

For half my life

 

The heart

needs time

to remember

And to forget

 

The air is thick

Of wishful thinking

To return to former glory

But it’ll never be that pure again

 

Didn’t come back to make amends

But to reach out to show

I’m the bigger person

Coming back to the place

I once turned my back on

Because repentance matters

 

At the end of the day

It takes two sides

to accept their mistakes

So here is me

Saying sorry

For having been

the lost daughter

 

But don’t expect that a change of heart

Equals a rewind button

My mind needs air

To deal with the present

Leave me to myself

To process the situation

I’m not running away

But fear to jump to conclusions

So accept my pace

And don’t rush

Matters of blood

 

V

We walked past houses

Rows of thousands

Of fig trees

Down to the abyss

Where we found a church

 

A ruin

A reminder of the past

A remainder of the immortal

Spirit of faith

That encapsulates this place

 

The sun burning on our faces

The sweat running down our necks

Our eyes are set

On the horizon

Every step

taking us closer to the edge

and we are rewarded with a view that takes our breath away

 

VI

Out of the water

Coming up for air

rising without wings

to touch the sky

I need to soar

High above the ground

 

But my legs are heavy

Just a victim of gravity

Turn this place upside down

Because all beauty dies

faced with that frown

 

But they will still scorn you

For having beliefs

These silly dreams

 

If there’s no money

Give it up honey

 

There’s no room for passion

Yet it’s not a want

But a need

 

Accept my flaws

My desires

My fears

My fire

Or I will become lost once more

 

-Maria