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(Dis)Connected Thoughts on the Way Home

 

(Dis)Connected Thoughts on the Way Home

for my grandparents

 

Some boundaries need to be transgressed,

while others are sacred

and should never be questioned.

Some words should be freed,

let loose,

conquer the ears of the world,

yet others possess

an infinite destructive character

if voiced without reason.

It’s all about words.

It’s all about intentions.

It’s all about consequences.

It’s more than that.

 

Sensibility was deemed a naive sentiment of the past.

A generation of novelists dwelled in it

only to be mocked for speaking to the human emotions 

by their realistic successors.

But what’s more real

than a true feeling?

 

In a time when

oversharing your life

equals a performance for the,

sometimes involuntary,

masses,

a true emotion, a real smile, an honest gesture, a moment of silence

between you and the world

beholds all the

truth and authenticity

we so dearly miss today.

 

I am a Neo-Romanticist

since I explore sentiments,

I dwell in sensibility.

I am a Neo-Victorian

because I crave realism.

Albeit what we get is too often an augmented reality.

 

Are we prisoners of self-editing our lives?

Are we conscious actors on the global live screen?

24/7 we can access worlds in the cloud 

– I just want to feel at home with myself.

The candles on my desk.

the notepad and the pen.

My brain is a firework

The pen allegedly

“Mightier than the sword”.

 

We want to connect 

and feel connected.

Yet connections are only fickle conversations 

unless we cease to perform

a role we believe we ought to play.

People want the truth in reality.

The unedited, blemished, human version of it.

People want emotions.

They want to cry, laugh,

wonder in disbelief

that life can be wonderful.

 

Be yourself is the worst piece of advice –

If you don’t know how to put into words what defines you.

We’re more than just words.

We’re the feelings we transmit,

the ways others feel around us.

And in becoming an infinite array of emotions, of chemicals that quicken or calm our pulse, 

we transcend language.

We defy definitions.

We are the emotions people associate with us.

The rare emotion of truth is what will always stick with someone.

We don’t forget the people that feel real.

 

-Maria

Maria was listening to her mind while writing this piece.

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15/02/2018 mariajuko

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Preview: Leserei (Creative Writing Event, April 21st 2018, Gängeviertel) → ← Esuba

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