3 a.m. nearly
On another sleepless night
At a temporary home
In an uncertain city
Where I am moving in
But scared of moving out.
Sleeping is overshadowed by thinking
Where I should be belonging.
Where I was born as usual baby
With a name given to become the pride of family
Growing up to disgrace my mankind
Fail to be educated to be good at what I have to be good
Fail to be taught to love what I have to love
Fail to be assimilated to be a friend of my friends
Fail to be citizenised to survive among proper citizens
They’re still doing well and wish me well too
For better living in somewhere new without returning
Though I miss my family for missing me
Though I miss surreal feelings when I’m about to leave
We’ll be together in a better place, you’ll stay in my mind forever.
Where I’m now
I’m still questioning
Like I’ve just been fleeing
To find my childhood back
Since it’s gone for long
To redeem the boy in me
While I’m experiencing the manhood
To seek a home on my own
Among a world of strangers
To act naturally back
Following the script of social theatre.
Dear upcoming days
Are you writing my future?
Or just typically transforming
Between present progressive and present perfect?
Let me enjoy the present
Without minding the past
Without becoming perfect
Without regretting the future
Just make it progressive
As I live for the moments.
3 a.m. about 3 years
And I’m still here
Watching it sliding.
Sleepless in Hamburg on the 19th of August, 2017
Ken was listening to “Petals” by Mariah Carey while writing this poem.