tbaJournal

Hamburg Event Guide and Literary Journal

  • Home
  • Contact
  • *tba
    • Author Profiles
  • Journalism
    • Places
    • Faces of the City
    • tba around the world
    • Think
    • Web
  • Creative
    • poetry
    • creative writing
  • Events
  • Reviews
  • Art
  • Film & TV
    • Nick’s Movie Log
  • Music
    • Musicalphabet
    • Sonic Crush
  • Theater
  • Food and Astrology
    • Dining Diary
    • CoffeeColumn
    • Taste Bud Attack
    • Recipes
    • Horrorscope
  • *tba

Horrorscope: September

 

Horrorscope August

Sign of the month – Libra: Your deepest, darkest secrets come to light- despite your best efforts, being shunned by the people closest to you is inevitable. Additionally, tentacles will sprout from unexpected places on your body.

Aries: Utmost care must be taken when dealing with new acquaintances: one wrong step, and you could find yourself immersed in a bathtub full of ice, one or two vital organs poorer. Your lucky number is the 28.

Taurus: This month brings you great joys, including a brand-new pair of leathery wings and a shiny third eye.

Gemini: Expect your cats to develop prehensile tails and intelligible speech.

Cancer: A stranger may appear in your home unannounced. He remains unseen and unheard. You may, however, have a constant feeling of being watched at all times.

Leo: This month ends in tragedy.

Virgo: New friendships are forged before the month ends. Hopefully being friends with a scorpion that’s permanently on fire works out without any major inconveniences.

Scorpio: You need to wake up. Wake up. Now!

Sagittarius: This month, you’re completely safe from everything that could ever harm you. Nothing can get to you. No food, no sunlight, no air.

Capricorn: If you live with a Cancer, be wary of invisible forces that follow your flatmate around all day.

Aquarius: Careful with falling for the stars. They might consume you with an anticlimactic ‘blub’, then spit you back out into the universe. The dark, silent, airless universe.

Pisces: Ever wanted to be someone else? Look around you, look into a mirror- you already are. Who are you?

 

by Britta Stuhl and Camila Otálora, with a little help from the stars

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)
03/09/2014 Otalora

Post navigation

Taste Bud Attack: Secret Cookies → ← Poem No. 2

One thought on “Horrorscope: September”

  1. Lerchen says:
    04/09/2014 at 22:23

    Oh no! Now I’m afraid :-/.

    Log in to Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Related Posts

On overthinking

here's a toast to overthinking

Not Another Fairytale

Not Another Fairytale Writing it down makes it real. It makes it more than just an idea, a thought, an emotion.   In trying to put it into words it’s […]

Climate Change and Other Mythological Creatures…

"With any luck, winter might just be coming again."

Mary

it wasn't just him

Recent Posts

Okay, Ladies. Now Let’s Get Information…About the Pill

Okay, Ladies. Now Let’s Get Information…About the Pill

keep bleeding, love

More Info
On overthinking

On overthinking

here's a toast to overthinking

More Info
Maria’s Literary Rewind of 2018

Maria’s Literary Rewind of 2018

books!

More Info
My Body in Parts

My Body in Parts

An exploration of body and mind in spoken word as seen and heard at *tba presents. [nsfw]

More Info

Follow Us

My Tweets

Login

  • Log In
  • Register
  • Impressum
Powered by WordPress | theme Dream Way