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Horrorscope: May

taurus
Illustration by Sina Binsau

Sign of the month – Taurus: Last month was not your month. This month might be your last.

Aries: You start seeing a shadow out of the corner of your eye, but whenever you turn around to look at it, there is nothing. But there is. And it will get you.

Gemini: Most nights, you dream of being strangled, only to wake back up in your normal life. One night you dream of your normal life and wake up to realize you are being strangled. You cannot scream.

Cancer: Your month starts like any other month. Absolutely the same, no change at all. It also goes on like any other month. Nothing changes. Nothing will ever change. You are trapped forever.

Leo: There is a chip on your shoulder. Yes, there is literally a chip on your shoulder. You cannot get it off. It is not stuck to your clothes, as it is also there when you are not wearing any. Sometimes it is a wood chip, sometimes a potato chip. You cannot break it. You cannot get it off. You do not know when it changes its form.

Virgo: #you #cannot #stop #using #hashtags #no #matter #what #you #do #there #will #always #be #a #hashtag

Libra: This month, you reach for a dying star and it sucks you in its darkness. Your wildest, most terrifying dreams come true.

Scorpio: People will come over a lot.

Sagittarius: You meet a tall, dark stranger. He’s extra tall, extra dark, extra strange. It’s a centaur.

Capricorn: You are a strong and majestic creature. You are fierce and beautiful. Your eyes are big and your mane is soft. You are independent and no one can ever tame you. You are a horse.

Aquarius: Beware the 12th floor. There is hidden danger waiting for you within a secret chamber. You could get mauled, or worse, lost.

Pisces: Your significant other becomes significantly other.

 

 by Britta Stuhl and Camila Otálora Niño and the combined effort of the universe

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30/04/2014 Pat Nehls

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Musicalphabet: Trail Of Dead – Tao of the Dead → ← What Does the Universe Taste Like?

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