Self-aggrandizement is totally sexy. For this very reason, tba is tremendously proud to announce that one of our very own tba family members has taken on a new passion; music. Actually, music has always been a part of the life of Marius, who started playing the violin and the oboe at a tender age of 2 months. After five years of intense musical studies in the remote monastery “Po Pso Ng” in the Qin Ling mountains in China, Marius returned to Germany to start primary school with the commoners.
After meeting Marc Zollondz, another musical monk from the beautiful city of Hamburg, the two decided to look for fellow believers to create an uber-rock band. With Francisca Bullinger on the drums and Jonas Clausing devoutly slamming the bass, EGO was founded. Not wanting to restrict their creative magic they never decided on a musical style that they would stick to but nowadays they agreed on a label for their other-worldly spherical sound: tropical Dutch opera pop. This exotic mixture is such a novelty that the audience often mistakes it for Rock music of some sort.
This diffamation is only the tip of the iceberg in the long list of bloodcurling gossip that has been spread about EGO. It is completely and utterly untrue that the band doesn’t have an agenda and that they are happy just playing music and having fun. No! EGO are striving for world domination at least or would only settle for a world tour with lady gaga as their support act. Other heinous rumours claim that all band members like to drink beer when in fact they live an ascetic life completely devoted to music and only drink spring water out of crystal cups.
When asked about their musical influences, EGO praises the genius of Katy Perry. “She made her mark in music history”, says Marius with a tear in his eye. “Surely, Black Sabbath invented Heavy Metal and Metallica developed it further. But without a doubt it was Katy Perry who perfected it.” Other musical influences are vehemently denied. “We have nothing in common with bands like Die Ärzte, Rise Against or RHCP. They are absolutely unoriginal and cannot compete with EGO’s musical genius.”
The band meets every week to meditate in the basement of Franci’s grandmother and thinks about how to ensure lasting world peace and way to tell the world that pizza is really tasty. They themselves are contributing to the improvement of the general everything by making their music “egologically degradable”. “Being egological is the very essence of our music and encapsulates the very essence of our spirit. In spite of all this goodness, Ego are also experiencing the first downside of the fortune and fame. “We hardly go outside any more for fear of being recognized on the street. It’s really hard not to lose touch with reality when you’re this famous.” Again, enviers want to tarnish the band’s stardom by claiming that the band has stayed humble at heart and is grateful for every single person showing up at their concerts. Likewise untrue are the rumours about their recording sessions in their practice room with a microphone taped to the ceiling and of their planned release of merely 4 – 4 songs. Naturally, EGO have already released 20 albums with major record labels and have enough material for 20 more in their safe.
Despite their raging success, EGO are only on stage for the third time this month. Missing this would not only be a deathly sin, but also deeply disappoint the dead lovely band members. “Don’t destroy our dreams. If you don’t come, you make Bunny cry!” Meet this young and fresh-faced band that wants to change the world. EGO’s message to the world is: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, life is short, so party we must.” or alternatively: “Finger im Po, Mexiko.”* By the way, for those of you wondering: EGO stands for “Elephant Grapholagnia Overlord”.
*Unfortunately, tastefulness forbids a translation of this ancient German proverb.